趣味英语

qlyx

Does the dog know the proverb,　too?

　　　 The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　　 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　　 "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

qlyx

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"


　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

fishlkeita

Funny!I like the first joke.

小鲈鱼

来个翻译，好的有奖……

支持楼主……

jmdf009

好像是小时候的那些笑话...

qlyx

One guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the had news first or the very had news?" The guy shrugs and says, " Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," The doctor replies. The man is distraught, "24 hours to live ? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the very bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is ...  I 've been trying to contact you since yesterday."

一个人走进医生的办公室。医生说：“啊，Jones先生！您的体检报告出来了！您想先知道坏消息还是糟糕透顶的消息？”病人耸耸肩膀说：“我想先知道坏消息。”“坏消息是，你只可以活24小时了。”医生回答他。这个人心急如焚：“只可以活24小时？太可怕了，难道还能有比这更糟糕的吗？那糟糕透顶的消息是什么？”医生合起双绉，叹了口气说：“糟糕透顶的消息是，从昨天开始，我就一直在试图合你联系。”

qlyx

Customer: I wonder if this milk is fresh.
Waiter: Fresh? Three hours ago it was grass.

顾客：我想知道这牛奶是否新鲜。
侍者：是否新鲜？3小时之前它还是草呢。

Wilson841201

En, I think it  a  little  funny~~`

qlyx

An American soldier,　serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense　action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and　was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier　walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat.

The only unoccupied　seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was　being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am,　may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the　soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of　people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked　away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down　to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the　dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired. The　English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only　are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier didn't say　anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out　the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked　and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.　An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir,　you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You　eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong　side of the road. And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the　window."