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any advice is welcome here

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发表于 2008-8-18 09:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
below is a passage i wrote recently about the olympic games. any comment is welcome here.
on sports
发表于:2008年8月12日 17时8分43秒来源:阅读(6)评论(1) 举报本文链接:http://user.qzone.qq.com/470894695/blog/1218532123

on sports
     Never before have I found myself so passionate for sports, and it is probably beacause of the on-going Olympic Games. To be honest, it is the first time i have ever been so close to the games, and i am surprisingly fascinated by the atmosphere. After watching several games, it suddenly occurs to me that there is something in sports that just like the process of the dream-pursuiting. When you stand on the stage, you spare no effor to compete with others under tremendous pressures which others could hardly imaginge to win the gold medal. And unfortunately, there is no certainty for it, after all, there are so many unpreditable factors involved. It is widely accepted that no pains, no gains, while it doesn't mean that when you put into something, you can get something out of it. So every time i see the participants cry the tears of joy when they finally realise their dreams, tears well my eyes unconsiously. They deserve all the flowers and glory after years of hardship. And every time i see the contestants leave the stage with enormous unwillingness, cring the tears of failure, i find myself overwhelmed by the sadness. After what they have been through, the result is cruel. However, that is exactly the beauty and essence of sports, which makes it so facsinating.
below is the link to my QQ space:
http://user.qzone.qq.com/470894695/infocenter
there are two more passages in my space. if you have spare time, it might as well go to my space and leave you comments there. THANK YOU!
u=2123575681,2177207837&fm=0&gp=-16.jpg
发表于 2008-8-18 10:23 | 显示全部楼层

VERY GOOD!

....
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发表于 2008-8-19 12:59 | 显示全部楼层
I didn't find any mistake~ that's cool~ I mean, grammar~ lol

ya from the foriegn language department?
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-19 18:17 | 显示全部楼层

回复 板凳 猫爪爪龙天使 的帖子

thank you for your comment, and  your praise truely means an aweful lot to me.
actually i am not from the foreign language department, but the automation department
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发表于 2008-8-22 15:57 | 显示全部楼层
Never before have I found myself so passionate for sports, and it is probably beacause of the on-going Olympic Games. To be honest, it is the first time i have ever been so close to the games, and i am surprisingly fascinated by the atmosphere. After watching several games, it suddenly occurs to me that there is something in sports that ( is )just like the process of the dream-pursuiting. When you stand on the stage, you spare no effor to compete with others under tremendous pressures which others could hardly imaginge to win the gold medal. (you will spare no efforts....) And unfortunately, there is no certainty for it, after all, there are so many unpreditable factors involved. It is widely accepted that no pains, no gains, while it doesn't mean that when you put into something, you can get something out of it. So every time i see the participants cry ( crying ) the tears of joy when they finally realise their dreams, tears well my eyes unconsiously. They deserve all the flowers and glory (glories)  after years of hardship. And every time i see the contestants leave (leaving)  the stage with enormous unwillingness, cring the tears of failure, i find myself overwhelmed by the sadness. After what they have been through, the result is cruel (What is the poin of this sentence? It is what they have been through leading to the cruel result? Does it sound logical? ). However, that is exactly the beauty and essence of sports, which makes it so facsinating.
:call:
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 17:03 | 显示全部楼层

回复 5楼 nivek 的帖子

i don' t think you fully understand what i am trying to convey, by the way, all the mistake you point out don't  count that
much , but thanks all the same. besides, i think it is really a necessity for you to look up the dictionary and reconsider
the use of the word "see", and the sentence" what sb has been through".
THANK YOU FOR YOU COMMENT.
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发表于 2008-8-28 19:01 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-8-28 19:01 | 显示全部楼层
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